Golden Tails
by HaveBookWillTravel
Summary: Side-stories from The Golden Retriever that didn't quite fit into the actual story. Genres vary from humor to hurt/comfort and everything in between. Chapter 9: That Time Ren Got Insecure.
1. Ruby

**Author's Note:** So, if you are reading this, chances are you have also been reading _The Golden Retriever_ , my first foray into RWBY fanfic. If you haven't, I would suggest popping over and taking a gander, and not just because I'm a more shameless self-promoter than Mike Jones. This little collection would not exist without _The Golden Retriever_ , and it might be difficult to follow otherwise.

So, there are a few reasons I started _Golden Tails_. First and foremost is that I had made the decision to keep _TGR_ 's narrative strictly from Orville's perspective, since I'm used to jumping from PoV to PoV in my other stories and I wanted to try something new. But I also find each of the characters in RWBY incredibly fascinating, even the ones who haven't really gotten much development in canon proper, and I want to explore writing from their viewpoint as well. Also, there are a few ideas that I have which wouldn't have been possible if I were sticking exclusively to seeing things through Orville's eyes.

And thus, this puppy was born...and no, that wasn't a deliberate pun.

Anyway, these aren't technically omake since all the snippets are canon to _The Golden Retriever_ , I was just unable to fit them into the actual story itself for various reasons. They won't necessarily be in chronological order, but I'll try my best not to get confusing.

 **Disclaimer:** I own no rights to the web comic RWBY, or any other intellectual properties you may find reference to. I make no profit from doing this; it's all fun and games (until someone's inevitably sued, but until then, I'll enjoy it as much as possible).

 **Warnings:** Vulgarity, adult humor, allusions to controlled substance use/abuse, and perhaps a few spoilers here and there.

* * *

That Time Ruby Severely Misunderstood A Conversation

* * *

Ruby Rose yawned widely as she made her way down to Beacon's dining hall for breakfast. It was the first weekend since she'd come to the prestigious Hunter school and she was looking forward to a bit of relaxation after the hectic first week. Her teammates were all amazing, but sometimes it was difficult to unwind with Weiss breathing down her neck or Yang teasing Blake about some book she'd found under the dark-haired girl's mattress.

Entering the long room with the high ceiling and airy windows, Ruby's eyes were drawn to two of the few students who were actually up so early on a Saturday. One she placed immediately as her big sister; it was hard mistaking that luscious mane of spun gold as belonging to anyone else. It took her sleepy brain a few moments to recognize the other as her first new companion at Beacon, Orville.

She took a moment to consider the Faunus whom she had befriended. Despite his happy-go-lucky nature and easy smiles, Orville was incredibly reserved when it came to talking about himself. All she really knew about him was that he was a dog Faunus, that he had super-awesome sawed-off Butterfly Shotswords, and that his Semblance somehow involved manipulating raw Dust, which was also amazing. But aside from his curious reticence concerning his personal life, Orville had still stuck with her after Yang had abandoned her at the beginning of her stay at the school, and she would be forever grateful for that.

Ruby was surprised to see that he and Yang were still wearing the clothes they'd had on the previous night, and deduced after a moment that they'd just returned from Vale and their celebration of surviving the first week. Ruby had wanted to go, unlike her other teammates, but Yang had adamantly refused to allow her 'precious baby sis' to accompany them and Orville (the traitor) had wholeheartedly agreed.

Wondering just what they'd gotten up to, Ruby decided it was time to emulate her favorite comic-book superhero, Flying Squirrelman, and tapped into the secret detective within. Rolling under the adjacent row of tables, she crept slowly toward where Yang and Orville were seated.

"...does _not_ look like lipstick," Orville was saying incredulously. Yang's back faced Ruby, and her low vantage point obscured Orville from her vision, but she was loathe to try and get closer for fear of giving away her position.

"Keep telling yourself that," Yang retorted with a smirk Ruby could _hear_. Ruby frowned, curious as to what they were talking about. What didn't look like lipstick?

"Oh? And how many have you actually seen?" the Faunus asked, a challenge in his voice.

"Well...I've never seen one in real life," the blonde admitted with a slight shrug, "but I've seen tons of pictures on the net."

Ruby crawled closer until she could see a bit of Orville's face, which was set into a smug grin. "Yeah, because _that's_ completely the same thing," he scoffed. Horror began to bloom in Ruby's head as she began to draw conclusions about what they were talking about.

"My Uncle Qrow's seen dozens of 'em," Yang defended, her shoulders tensing up. "And _he_ says they look just like tubes of lipstick!" Ruby fought the urge to gasp aloud. Qrow had seen... _Uncle_ _Qrow_ was...?

"Your uncle musta been high as a kite to think they'd look _anything_ like lipstick," Orville replied, unconcerned.

"Well...he _is_ drunk most of the time," Yang said dubiously.

"Look, I'll show you right now and you'll see that it's _nothing_ like lipstick," he assured, and Ruby, whose mind had been racing up until that point, burst out from her cover and covered Yang's eyes with one hand while pointing an accusing finger at Orville with her other.

"Don't you _dare_ show my precious Yang your ding-a-ling!" she screeched, drawing the sleepy attention of the meager population of the dining hall.

Orville's face looked like it was torn between total incomprehension and utter amusement. "Uh, mornin', Little Red?" he said with a little wave. "How'd you sleep?"

"Ruby, what the heck?" Yang growled, grabbing both of Ruby's hands in her larger one and pulling her onto the bench beside her.

"Orville was about to show you his...his _lipstick_!" Ruby whispered furiously, shooting the dirty-minded Faunus a glare. Her righteous indignation ebbed slightly when she saw the two older teens trade a glance before descending into gales of laughter. "Th-this isn't _funny_!" Ruby hissed.

"Holy shit, Red, were you _eavesdropping_ on us?"

"And I'm glad I did," Ruby retorted. "You nearly besmirched Yang's purity by whipping out your weenie on her, and right in the middle of the dining hall, no less! Have you no shame?"

Yang didn't seem to be able to breathe, such was the sheer strength of her fit of mirth. "Rubes," the blonde gasped, grasping Ruby's shoulder for support. "Oh my God! We were talking about these rock formations in the Grimmlands that _look_ like dicks, not Orville's _actual_ dick!"

Ruby's glare intensified. "Don't you lie to me, I _heard_ you talking about how it looks like lipstick; I've seen Zwei's thingy, I'm not stupid."

It took the supposedly more mature duo two whole minutes to get their giggles under control, and Orville withdrew his scroll and flipped through some pictures before sliding it across the table at her.

"Those are the ones closest the Vale," he explained as Ruby digested the image. Those rocks _did_ look startlingly penis-shaped. Yang leaned over and nodded.

"Alright, so they _don't_ look like lipstick," she conceded.

"And neither does my penis, for the record," Orville added, glancing at Ruby with a half-smirk on his face. "We went over this after the whole hot-chocolate thing; I'm a dog _Faunus_ , not a dog."

As the anger left Ruby, it was replaced by the utter mortification of having misread the situation so completely. Her silvery eyes darted around to the rest of the students nearby, who thankfully seemed too tired to have truly taken note of her outburst earlier.

Burying her face in her hands as Yang and Orville had another chuckle at her expense, Ruby stood and began walking away.

"Where ya goin', sis?" Yang shouted after her.

"I think I'll try drowning myself in the shower," Ruby called back, bumping her hip painfully into the corner of the table as she tried to make her way back to the dorm blind.

Just before she got out of earshot, Ruby heard Yang say, "So, any chance you wanna whip out your weenie on me?" Their laughter would haunt her nightmares for months.

* * *

 **After-Action Report:** So that happened. If you didn't get the subtle hint at the beginning of the chapter, this little scene is set on the first Saturday of RWBY and ORNP's first year at Beacon. Now, I'm still fairly new to the FNDM (a term I just recently learned existed and think is fucking _genius_ ), but I haven't really seen a lot of protective!Ruby in the fanfiction yet. I mean, it's a given that Yang would keep an eye out for Ruby, make sure she isn't corrupted or anything like that, but siblingship (not a real word [yet]) is a two-way street.

I know from experience that my little brothers and sisters are incredibly protective of me, as much as I am of them, and yet I've never seen a fanfic that deals with Ruby looking out for Yang (and if you know of one, I'd _really_ appreciate a recommendation). So I thought it might be fun to see how Ruby would react to someone offering to "whip out their weenie on Yang", to take a phrase from the girl herself.

The rock formations Orville and Yang are discussing are an actual geological phenomenon in reality, and the reason Yang seemed to think that they looked like lipstick is because Qrow told her about cock rocks formed from iron-rich stone, while the ones Orville has seen are less...red.

And yes, Flying Squirrelman is an allusion to Batman. They're both small rodents with the ability to (more or less) fly. So there.

Anything I failed to address or questions you may have can be brought up in a review or PM, any constructive criticism, tips, or outright hate is welcome in the same, and I hope you all have a great day!


	2. Nora

**Author's Note:** I'm kind of on a roll here, so I think I'll just put this sucker up now.

 **Disclaimer** and **Warning** still apply from the first chapter.

* * *

That Time Nora Learned Orville's Fear

* * *

Nora Valkyrie skipped down the hallway toward her team's dorm, a wide smile on her face as she counted the seconds between the dull rumbles of thunder outside. It was the first big thunderstorm since she had arrived at Beacon Academy with her bestest friend ever Ren and met her new best friends Orville and Pyrrha. Feeling the booms echo in her chest always cheered her up immensely, even if she had been little down or angry. It let her know that no matter how she felt, it was nothing compared to the sheer, uncaring fury of nature.

Most people would find the reminder of their insignificance off-putting, but for Nora it simply told her that she should step back and take a look at the bigger picture if she ever took herself too seriously. The fact that lightning actually enhanced her physical might was just the cherry on top of a big ol' pile of flapjacks (with maple syrup, of course).

It was still mid-afternoon, despite the darkness outside created by the shroud of thunderheads rolling over Vale. Ren had decided to study in the library, hoping that the tranquil atmosphere in that boring old place would help him finally get boring old Professor Port's assignment on Grimm migration habits or something lame like that finished. Pyrrha was over in the Training Wing, likely destroying more battle drones by the dozens as she honed her already nearly flawless combat skills.

She hadn't seen her Glorious Leader since classes had ended that day, though, which was odd since Orville could usually be found with at least one of the members of ORNP nearby, or at least with Yang and Ruby from Team RWBY. But the sisters and their teammates had been in the kitchens trying to replicate some old family cookie recipe the last time Nora had checked.

So, with nothing to do and no one to hang out with, Nora had spent the last couple of hours searching for the dog Faunus. Thinking back, she probably should have checked the dorm room first.

The first thing Nora noticed when she entered the shared space was that it was empty. Disappointed, she began to close the door when a flash of lightning pierced the gloom outside the shuttered windows, followed a few seconds later by the roar of thunder. What made Nora hesitate, though, was the slight whimpering sound coming from one of the closets.

Curiously, Nora went down the line, checking first her closet, then Ren's and Pyrrha's, before finally flinging open the door to Orville's storage space. Her elation at finally finding her missing team leader was offset by the disconcerting image of the usually casual and confident Faunus huddled up with his hands over his ears as his frame shook slightly.

"Glorious Leader?" she murmured softly, but he didn't seem to hear her. Another rolling blast of thunder made him jump, trembling violently. "Orville?" she tried again, placing a hand on his hunched back.

The force of his shuddering body transfered all the way up her arm as his head shot up, eyes wild and unfocused. Nora nearly reeled back in shock; seeing her unflappable leader looking like a terrified child brought an uncharacteristic frown to her face. While it was true that they had only known each other for two weeks, Nora liked to think she knew a little bit about Orville, and he was definitely not normally like this.

Since meeting him, Nora had admired his steady, jocular nature. He was calm when it was necessary, amiable to most everyone, and had a protective streak a mile wide. Orville took his leadership role very seriously, too, making sure his team was properly fed and well-rested (even if he sometimes forced Nora to eat more than just pancakes at mealtimes and gently bullied Ren into taking diphenhydramine tablets to help him get to sleep). He even put his foot down when he noticed that Pyrrha had logged over thirty hours in the Training Wing in the first week, saying, "All work and no play makes Champ a dull girl."

So yes, seeing him curled up in the fetal position in his closet was sending off alarm bells in Nora's mind.

"Orville, what's wrong?" she asked, crouching down next to him.

For a moment, he stared at her uncomprehendingly. Another thunderclap had him clamp his hands over his ears once more, wincing as a haunted look stole over his face. "I...I'm not really a fan of thunderstorms," he answered hesitantly.

Nora supposed she could understand that. She knew that his sense of hearing was far better than even other Faunus, and the terrible sound created by the lightning strikes must have been a terrible thing to someone like Orville. But it was the frantic gleam in his eyes that made her think that perhaps it wasn't just the noise that was causing her Glorious Leader such discomfort.

A stray memory drifted up from her subconscious, of a time when she still had a family beyond Ren. "You know, I used to be afraid of thunder, too," she whispered conspiratorially. Orville glanced at her sidelong with a disbelieving eyebrow, and she smiled. "It's true. Back in my old village we used to get a lot of them in the summer. And whenever one would start up, my mom would hold my hand and tuck me into bed..."

She demonstrated, grasping Orville's big mitts and dragging him out of the closet, squeezing them tightly in assurance when more thunder smote their eardrums. She led him to his bed and dropped down beside him after she pushed him down.

"I used to have this teddy bear," she continued. "Mom called him my thunder buddy. And she taught me this song to sing. It went like this," she cleared her throat, reaching for those old words she'd buried along with her parents and the torn shreds of her stuffed animal. "When you hear the sound of thunder, don't you get too scared. Just grab your thunder buddy and say these magic words: Fuck you thunder; you can suck my dick. You can't get me, thunder, 'cause you're just God's farts."

A quick, surprised grin flickered across Orville's face. "Your mom really taught you that?"

Nora smiled, happy to see that she'd at least slightly brightened up his mood. "Yup!" she confirmed. "I don't have a teddy bear for you, but I'll be your thunder buddy, if you want."

Orville hesitated for a moment before nodding uncertainly. "That...sounds nice," he admitted. He winced as another wall of noise assaulted their eardrums, then asked. "So, how did it go again? When you hear the sound of thunder, don't you get to scared...?"

"Just grab your thunder buddy and say these magic words," Nora said, hugging him as they both continued the little mantra.

When Ren and Pyrrha returned to the dorm a few hours later, Orville had dropped into a deep, relaxed slumber. The storm had passed over Beacon by then, and the thunder had been reduced to little more than the occasional distant grumble.

Nora had extricated herself from Orville's embrace after making sure he wouldn't wake up, and was on her own bed, listening to some music.

"So this is where you two have been," Pyrrha said thoughtfully as she took note of Orville's sleeping form. "Was he here this whole time?"

"Yup," Nora said, nodding as she removed her headphones. "He was sawing logs when I got here."

Ren glanced at her inquisitively, probably having heard the lie. But Nora gave a quick shake of her head and he shrugged lightly, trusting her enough to not question it. She'd talk to Orville when he woke up tomorrow and see if he wanted to keep his astraphobia between them.

Until then, she'd keep the fact that they were Thunder Buddies a secret.

* * *

 **After-Action Report:** Can I just say how much I love Nora's character? She's just the bee's knees, and I'm really worried about her well-being in the coming volumes. I mean, Rooster Teeth seems to have it out for redheads, right? Is it just me?

Anyway, obviously the Thunder Buddies chant was ripped off from the movie _Ted_. If that wasn't clear. As for Orville's fear of thunder (astraphobia, or brontophobia), of the five dogs I currently live with, my big mutt Willy (and no, I hadn't caught the double entendre until my grandpa gave him the nickname 'Big Willy') is terrified of thunder. The four little dogs don't seem to have too much of a problem with it, but to each their own. Orville's parents died during a thunderstorm, which only exacerbated his already existing discomfort at the incredibly loud noise, which was what Nora picked up on in the closet.

Anything I failed to mention or questions you might have can be brought up in a review or PM. Constructive criticism, writing tips, or outright flames can be delivered through the same. As always, have a great day!


	3. Pyrrha

**Author's Note:** I realized that I haven't had a lot of Pyrrha in _TGR,_ so I thought I might show her some love over here.

 **Disclaimer** and **Warning** still apply from the first chapter

* * *

That Time Pyrrha Realized She Was Jealous

* * *

Pyrrha Nikos swerved to the side, easily avoiding the wide swing from her opponent's collapsible staff. Using the opening provided, she used Miló's spear form to sweep her legs out from under her before skipping back to avoid the retaliatory swivel kick.

A quick glance up at the scoreboard showed that Carmin Falcone's aura had dropped to just over half while her own was still pristine (as usual). Switching Miló back to its sword-mode, she parried a horizontal swipe and caught the other end of the three-part staff on Akoúo's edge.

She was actually having a bit of fun, when it came right down to it. Carmin wore no metal, nor did her staff, Punitor, bear any external steel she could touch in order to magnetize, leaving Pyrrha to rely solely on her combat prowess. Pushing back against the staff, Pyrrha kicked off against the middle section of the weapon and performed a graceful back flip to once again create a bit of space for herself, flipping Miló into a rifle and taking a few shots while mid-air to dissuade Carmin from attacking her while she was vulnerable.

As she landed, her keen eyes spotted a flash of gold in the stands. Though she had been trained constantly since childhood to shun any distractions in battle, she was unable to look away when the yellow turned out to be Yang Xiao Long flirting shamelessly with her partner and team leader, Orville.

Ever since the blonde seductress had maneuvered Orville into going on a date with her (and Ruby, but that was beside the point) the day prior, Pyrrha had felt a developing sense of unease and queasiness in her gut that she'd never quite felt before. She had been on edge and jittery for no clear reason, and every time she saw Orville with Yang a great surge of resentment toward both of them would rear up within her.

Frankly, Pyrrha was terrified of this strange new emotion. Yang seemed like a decent sort of person, if that watchful eye she kept on her little sister was anything to go by. Certainly, she was a tad too playful and teasing for Pyrrha's taste, but everyone had their quirks. At least she wasn't as energetic as Nora (Pyrrha shuddered at the thought of _two_ people like Nora in close proximity with one another), and for that she was thankful.

And Orville...well, Orville was her partner. He had been the very first person not to treat her any differently than his other friends, even after Weiss had explained to him what Pyrrha had accomplished thus far. All he'd done was congratulate her and give her a nickname to go with it. Any time she heard him call her 'Champ', warmth blossomed in her chest for no apparent reason; she chalked it up to never having anyone _to_ give her a nickname (besides that awful 'Invincible Girl' tag, and that was more of a title than anything).

But the fact remained that this ominous feeling swelled up uncomfortably within her whenever she spotted Yang with Orville...or Velvet with Orville...or Weiss with Orville...

Pyrrha's instinct screamed at her to move, and she narrowly avoided getting whacked over the head with a thick bit of wood. _Right, Combat class_ , she chastised herself. Ducking under Carmin's follow-through, she thrust Akoúo straight into the other girl's chest, knocking the wind from her lungs before lashing out with a snap-kick to Carmin's gut, sending her skidding across the arena.

To her credit, Carmin didn't collapse like many would (and had). Leaning on Punitor, the girl smirked as she sucked in the breath she'd lost upon getting hammered by a big piece of steel.

"Almost had ya there, Nikos," she drawled. "Quit making goo-goo eyes at your partner up there."

Pyrrha frowned. She had _not_ been making _goo-goo eyes_ at Orville...

"But I guess I'd be distracted, too, if my boyfriend was getting the moves put on him by Xiao Long," Carmin admitted with a nonchalant shrug.

Against her will, Pyrrha's eyes sought out Orville and Yang once more, and what she saw made her heart skip a beat. The blonde girl was leaning in uncomfortably close as she whispered something into his ear, causing him to chuckle merrily and nod along.

Once more, Carmin tried to take advantage of her lapse in attention, but Pyrrha was well and truly pissed for some reason. Her right hand released Miló and darted out, snatching Punitor as it speared forward. Pyrrha yanked it and Carmin further in and rammed a flying knee into her opponent's chin before shoving her elbow into the other girl's gut, knocking her out and sending her aura meter deep into the red.

But she wasn't done yet, oh no. While she'd introduced her patella to Carmin's mandible, Pyrrha had used her Semblance to mech-shift Miló back into a spear. Even as Carmin's unconscious body struck the ground, Pyrrha caught Miló and sent it streaking up into the stands where it wedged itself firmly between Orville and Yang.

Pyrrha's partner turned to her with wide, incredulous eyes even as Yang turned a speculative gaze upon her. The redhead suddenly returned to her faculties and clapped a hand over her mouth, horrified at herself.

"I'm sorry!" she called out meekly, wondering just what in Dust's name had come over her. "I must have gotten caught up in the fight..."

"Excellent fight, as always, Ms. Nikos," Professor Goodwitch said from the sidelines, "if a bit more brutal than usual. I would suggest you gain control over your battle instincts lest you injure your leader." As the teacher passed her, Pyrrha distinctly heard her mutter, "Try not to permanently injure Ms. Xiao Long, either. Boys aren't worth _that_ much trouble."

Pyrrha shuffled back to her seat on Orville's other side, face red as she pulled Miló from where it was embedded. "Sorry," she squeaked again.

"Don't sweat it, Champ," Orville brushed off her apology with a placid smile. "At least you didn't hit anyone."

"What did Falcone say to you?" Yang asked, leaning across Orville in a way that pressed her breasts against his arm. "Must've been pretty nasty to get under your skin like that."

Pyrrha's eyes narrowed when she saw the challenging glint in Yang's expression, but offered her a simple shrug. "It was nothing important," she replied, scooting inconspicuously closer to Orville after setting her weapons on the bench beside her.

"Um..." Orville squirmed between them, and Pyrrha felt a little thrill of excitement when she noticed the deep flush adorning his cheeks.

"Alright class, that's all the time we've got this session," Goodwitch proclaimed from her spot in the pit. "Don't forget to continue your training on your own time; otherwise you'll end up falling behind."

Thankfully, Teams RWBY and ORNP had different classes after this one, allowing her time to sort through her emotions without Yang's salacious behavior sidetracking her thoughts. After changing back into her uniform, Pyrrha rejoined her team and they headed off to their next destination.

As per usual, she and Orville partnered up for their Dust Alchemy lesson. Though she rarely utilized Dust in her combat, she had become more open to the idea after seeing how naturally the subject came to Orville and his obvious enjoyment of the experimentation they performed in the lab.

"So, what _did_ Carmin tell you down in the pit?" Orville asked casually as he set up their station with deft hands.

"Nothing," Pyrrha sighed. When she noticed him raising a skeptical eyebrow at her, she added, "Really, it's fine."

"You sure?" Orville pressed gently. "I've been working on this new blend of Dust that I'm pretty sure acts as a bowel loosener. I'd been meaning to test it out on Baby Bird, but I could slip some into Carmin's lunch if it was something mean."

Pyrrha beamed at him even as she shook her head. His concern made her feel incredibly warm, and the fact that he was willing to retaliate against Carmin for her sake was truly uplifting. "I'm sure," she affirmed.

Shrugging, Orville headed over to the Dust station to gather the supplies needed for the day's workshop. As she watched him go, her gaze drifted south and she was momentarily mesmerized by the swaying of his...

"Pyrrha?"

She snapped out of her daze and turned to Nora, who had sidled up next to her without her noticing. That in itself was worrying, since Nora was about as sneaky as a Goliath in a china shop. _What_ was making her so distracted lately?

"Yes?" Pyrrha asked politely, trying to get a hold of herself.

"You do know that you were leering at our Glorious Leader's ass, right?" Nora said, a maddeningly smug grin on her face.

"Wh-what? I was _not_!" Pyrrha hissed, then hesitated as the events of the past few weeks slowly clicked into place to form a cohesive picture. "Oh, my God, I _was_!"

"It's okay," Nora assured her with a gentle pat on her shoulder. "It's a pretty nice ass." Pyrrha turned an incredulous look onto her teammate, who shrugged carelessly. "What? You can sample the eye-candy but I can't?"

"N-no, it's not that," Pyrrha stammered, mind racing. "I...I think I just realized that I'm a very jealous person."

* * *

 **After-Action Report:** So some people will say that Pyrrha's a little out of character here, but we've never seen how she reacts to serious competition in canon. Sure, she was pretty bummed out when Jaune kept trying to woo Weiss, but there's never been another girl actually show an interest in Jaune, whereas Yang and Orville have a pretty intimate rapport in _The Golden Retriever_ so far. Also, Pyrrha's basically a professional ring fighter; there's got to be a competitive nature somewhere hidden behind that apologetic demeanor she shows the world.

Carmin Falcone's name is taken from Carmine Falcone, the crime leader of Batman fame, just so you know. She's the girl whose collapsible staff Ruby fangirled out on in _The First Step, part 1_. True, we never really see what she looks like, which is why I didn't give any physical descriptors for her.

Anything I failed to address or questions you might have can be brought up in a review or PM. Constructive criticism, tips, or just plain good ol' fashioned internet hate comments can be delivered through the same. As always, have a great day!


	4. Weiss

**Author's Note:** A little Ice Queen for y'all.

 **Disclaimer** and **Warnings** still apply from the first chapter.

* * *

The Time Orville Broke Into The RWBY Dorm

* * *

Weiss Schnee grimaced as she worked a stubborn knot out of her hair. After a long day of hard work in Combat Class and several more hours in the Training Wing, the heiress found the simple act of brushing her snowy locks to be cathartic and soothing. She remembered Winter doing this for her when she was just starting to learn to wield Myrtenaster, and it brought back pleasant memories of her time before Beacon.

Which wasn't to say she was miserable at the school. In fact, she was surprisingly pleased with her team, though it had been a rocky start. Ruby, while somewhat immature and easily distracted, was already an incredible combatant despite the two-year age gap between her and the rest of the school. Yang was bright and bombastic, easily piercing through Weiss' shell and coaxing her out of it a pun at a time. Blake was the one Weiss most appreciated, a pillar of calm to offset the storm of insanity that was the two sisters.

Setting her brush down on the bathroom sink, Weiss finished toweling herself off and tossed on her nightgown before heading back into the dorm room proper. Yang was doing some last-minute push-ups before bed while Ruby sat on her back, reading a weapons magazine and jamming out to some music. Blake was predictably curled up on her own bed with a small black book, a blush appearing periodically on her face as her amber eyes darted across the pages.

Weiss was almost to her desk when the door was riven to splinters. The object which had caused the explosion of wood was flung halfway into the room before being brought to a sudden and unceremonious halt by the stone bed-frames Orville had made for them not a week prior, right in Weiss' path.

When the dust settled, she realized that she shouldn't have been surprised to find that the projectile had in fact been the dog Faunus himself, groaning feebly as his head glowed brown from the Aura attempting to heal what was obviously a concussion (and likely a fractured skull as well).

"Nora, I told you not to add too much!" Ren's voice floated from across the hall. Weiss looked up to see Nora gesticulating wildly with what appeared to be a flask full of that red sap from the Forever Fall Forest as Pyrrha rushed into RWBY's dorm looking worried.

"Orville, are you alright?" the Mistrali girl asked, concern coloring her voice as she knelt by her fallen leader.

Eyes unfocused, Orville offered his partner a simple smile as he pointed off to the right with a wobbly finger. "Pink polka-dots," he mumbled almost incoherently.

Pyrrha glanced in the direction he was pointing, which just so happened to be where Weiss was standing and gave the heiress a confused look. "What is he talking about?"

Shrugging, Weiss went to the closet and withdrew an industrial vacuum cleaner she had requisitioned after the first two times her excitable team had made a mess of their shared room. "Perhaps he's finally had what little sense he possessed knocked out of him," she supplied primly.

"What happened over there, anyway?" Blake wondered, eyes darting between Orville's prone form and the pieces of door Weiss was sucking up.

"An explosion of flavor!" Nora proclaimed as she skipped through the ruined entryway. "How was it, Glorious Leader?"

"Like a choir of angels threw up all over my taste buds," was the nonsensical reply.

"Maybe we should get him into bed," Ren suggested as he came into the room as well. He pulled Orville's shoulder over his own and hefted the Faunus up to his feet with a grunt. "A little help, Nora?"

"Sure thing, Ren!" the spastic girl exclaimed, grabbing Orville and effortlessly lifting him (and Ren) over her shoulder before marching back to ORNP's dorm.

"We'll fix your door in the morning," Pyrrha promised with an apology in her eyes as she followed her team out. "Sleep well?"

"Sleep well, she says," Weiss grumbled as she finished with the vacuum and put it back in its place. She withdrew a vial of Earth Dust from her bedside drawer and created a wall of stone where their door had once stood. It never hurt to be too careful, even in a place as safe as Beacon. "I should break down their door and see how _they_ like it."

"Their door _was_ broken," Blake pointed out dryly. "I'm surprised Orville was still conscious."

"Yes, well," Weiss sniffed, settling herself into bed. "That dolt's head is certainly thick enough..."

It was only as she was about to drift off to sleep that Weiss realized that she was wearing her pink polka-dot panties beneath her nightgown and flushed so brightly her face could likely be seen in the darkness of the room.

 _I am going to_ murder _him_ , she vowed to herself.

* * *

 **After-Action Report:** Not much to say about this one. Just a funny little slice of Beacon life for RWBY and ORNP. I'm pretty sure the students on either side of these guys are starting to get kind of fed-up with the bi-weekly explosions (of flavor or otherwise). And now Orville has seen Weiss' panties, meaning she's out for revenge. That might spill into _The Golden Retriever_ eventually...

Also, the explosion of flavor being an _actual_ explosion comes from the coming-of-age movie _Accepted_.

Questions, comments, etc. and all that. You know the drill. Thanks for reading, and have a great day!


	5. Blake

**Author's Notes:** This one's set about halfway through chapter seven of _The Golden Retriever_ , for the record.

 **Disclaimer** and **Warnings** still apply from the first chapter.

* * *

That Time Blake Used a Racial Slur

* * *

Blake Belladonna liked to think she was a fairly level-headed individual. Sure, she was more prone to absconding at the drop of a hat than she was comfortable with, but at least they were fairly well thought out retreats. Most of the time. It took a lot to rile her up most of the time, and she was practiced at keeping her emotions in check after all that time in the White Fang.

Therefore, she found it incredibly strange that the flea-bitten mongrel called Orville Doyle was able to get such a rise out of her.

It had started simply enough. After a careless comment from him, she'd assumed he was a member of the White Fang sent by Adam to either take her back or take her out. She was quickly disabused of this notion, and terribly surprised when he agreed to keep her secret for her even after she'd threatened to behead him (which, in hindsight, probably wasn't the best way to go about handling the perceived threat). She wasn't very used to such kindnesses, even among her brothers and sisters in the Fang.

Then he had to ruin her initial impression of him by pretending that they'd had an intimate encounter behind the tree where she'd interrogated him. With Adam still fresh in her mind, the very idea of it made her almost physically ill. The fact that he was a _dog_ Faunus of all things only made it worse. His tongue probably tasted like crotch.

She'd hoped that after being assigned different teams that she wouldn't have to interact with the mutt anymore, or at least that it would be kept to the minimum. What she hadn't planned on was the friendship he had formed with her team leader _and_ her partner.

To be fair, he wasn't _that_ horrible. A little rough around the edges, certainly, and when he and Yang started their odd little flirtatious, teasing dance it was all Blake could do not to puke. At least she had Weiss to commiserate with (and wasn't _that_ an odd thing to think, being thankful that she was on a team with a _Schnee_ of all people).

Except, as the days turned to weeks, Blake learned that while Orville did indeed keep his word that he'd keep her Faunus heritage and White Fang ties under wraps, he was going to milk it for all it was worth.

The first time it was almost funny, in that ironic ' _W_ _ow, you're really going there?'_ sort of way. Blake had made an off-hand comment about the Faunus' plight, and Orville had piped up that she'd never really understand 'The Struggle', capital letters and all.

She'd pursed her lips, but said nothing to the smug grin pulling at his lips.

Blake supposed she should be thankful; after all, someone might have taken her comment and began to wonder about the bow on her head if he hadn't said anything.

Then, after the Hot Choco-Debacle (which Blake found insanely amusing), she'd chastised Ruby about mistaking the physiology of a Faunus with the animal whose traits they possessed. Orville, of course, had loudly postulated about how the reason Blake was so knowledgeable about such matters was because she had 'jungle fever' an idiomatic phrase which described a human with a Faunus fetish.

Again, his reasoning helped explain away exactly how she knew these things, though she could have just said that she'd read it somewhere (her bibliophilia by then being an established character trait to her acquaintances). Her eye had developed a twitch that had lasted for a day and a half after that, with Yang shamelessly taking advantage of the fact that Blake was clearly uncomfortable with the subject.

The most recent of these events had been during the aftermath of the barbecue Orville's guardian (and one of the most legendary Faunus in recent history), Gin _freakin'_ Solo had held for them, when they'd been on the airship back to Beacon.

"Man, Gin sure is awesome," Ruby gushed, having shed her recent animosity toward Orville as simply as one would shuck an overcoat.

"I'll say," Yang grinned, elbowing Orville in the ribs. "You shoulda introduced us all _way_ earlier. Your old man's something else."

Even _Weiss_ of all people didn't have anything bad to say about the aging Faunus. "He certainly isn't as terrible as my grandfather made him out to be," the heiress admitted, and Blake was reminded of the fact that Gin Solo and Sturm Schnee had been on opposite sides of the Faunus Revolution. It was heartening to see that Orville and Weiss shared none of their forebear's antagonism toward one another (or at least that Weiss' dislike of Orville was for completely legitimate reasons).

"What'd you think of him, Blake?" Nora asked.

"He's definitely a bad beast," Blake replied without thinking, having been lost in a book. When she heard several sharp intakes of breath, she looked up, confused.

"Blake, that was _super-racist_ ," Ruby whispered, eyes wide. Too late, Blake realized that she'd used the B-word. She had been so used to hearing it every other step in the White Fang that it had become second nature to her. She'd never called Velvet or Orville beasts simply because they weren't very close.

"I-I..." Blake didn't have anything she could say that wouldn't either implicate her as a terrible person who used racial slurs flippantly or a Faunus in disguise.

"It's alright, guys," Orville broke the tension with a wave of his hand. "I gave her permission to use it." Blake almost heaved a sigh of relief at his timely rescue, when he added. "She accidentally called me that in bed, and I just let her roll with it."

A wave of murderous intent rolled across the cabin from the redhead on Orville's left, and Blake fought the urge to bury her head in her hands.

 _And now Pyrrha's going to kill me. Lovely..._

* * *

 **After-Action Report:** So yeah, 'beast' is Remnant's equivalent of 'nigger'. And before anyone blows their social justice warrior whistles at me, I'll just let you know that I honestly couldn't care less. I'm not a racist, I'm a misanthrope. I hate everyone besides my family and friends, and even they can get on my nerves.

Also, no, Blake and Orville didn't _actually_ bone down. That's just Orville messing around like usual.

Questions...reviews...yadda-yadda...have a great day!


	6. Sun

**Author's Note:** The Sun'll come out...TOMORROW! Well, actually today...yeah. That wasn't too well thought-out.

 **Disclaimer** and **Warnings** still apply from the first chapter.

* * *

That Time Sun and Orville Became Bros

* * *

Sun Wukong hadn't quite known what to expect when he decided to head straight to Vale after his last mission instead of returning to Haven with the rest of his team. As the leader of SSSN, he felt that it was his job to get the lay of the land before the others came along. Sure, he'd probably get in a whole heap of trouble after the Vytal Festival was over and done with, but he, Neptune, Scarlet, and Sage were among the best up-and-coming Hunters Haven had to offer and they had already snagged one of the Mistral spots in the Tournament. His decision had been made, and there wasn't much anyone could do about that now.

The cruise over from Vacuo had been pleasant enough; there had been a ton of great fruit in his cabin (technically the cargo hold, but it was the same thing, really), and there had been a lot of pretty ladies from Shade to keep himself occupied with. And when he'd arrived in Vale there had even been a nice dog Faunus who'd helped Sun out (even though he could've gotten away from those idiot detectives just fine on his own). The invitation to Beacon and the cat Faunus who'd been part of the same group of students was a plus, too. But when he'd finally gotten to Beacon, the two Faunus were already on the way out.

So Sun followed them to a cramped little apartment in Old Vale where pictures of a younger Orville with either a couple who must have been his parents or an old coyote Faunus who may or may not have been Gin _freakin'_ Solo.

After making a few calls and assuring someone called Ruby that Blake was fine, Orville began to settle Blake and Sun into the small living space, setting up the pull-out couch and offering them what clothing and food he had.

"Blake, you can have the bedroom," Orville said, frying up some hamburger meat while the pasta boiled. "Me and Sun'll bunk on the couch. We'll pick up some groceries tomorrow, I guess, otherwise we'll be eating canned corn and frostbitten taquitos."

The dark-haired girl nodded absently as she continued examining the apartment's contents, stopping at one of the picture frames. "Orville, are these your parents?" she asked, gesturing to the photograph.

A wistful smile stole across Orville's face when he glanced up. "Yep," he confirmed, dropping some tomato sauce in with the meat. "Doug and Oriana Doyle."

Blake turned a flat gaze on him and in an emotionless voice said, "Your mom is a lioness." Orville bobbed his head in agreement. "Why do you give me so much crap for being a cat when _you_ are part cat?"

Orville scoffed, giving Sun a disbelieving look as he jerked his head toward Blake. "Don't flatter yourself, Sugar Britches. Cats and lions are two com _pletely_ separate things."

"I fail to see much of a difference besides size," Blake argued, frowning.

" _You_ wouldn't," Orville shot back. "Cats are loners, lions are pack hunters." He raised a significant eyebrow, and Blake flushed and turned away. Sun was interested by the interplay, wondering just what was going on. "So, Monkey-Bone, what's your deal?"

Sun blinked, realizing the dog was talking to him. "Scouting out the competition before the rest of my team rolls in," he replied with a grin. "I'm from Vacuo, but I go to Haven for now."

"Shouldn't you still be _at_ Haven, then?" Blake inquired, idly plucking at a string on the guitar half hidden behind a bookshelf as she scanned the spines.

"See, that's the beauty of it," Sun explained. "No one'll be expecting me to be spying if they don't think that I'm a student."

"Except you just told us, and we're gonna be in the tournament, too," Orville drawled as he poured the noodles and boiling water into the strainer in the sink. "So now we'll be expecting it."

Sun frowned; he _did_ have a good point. "Well, maybe I'm playing a deeper game to try and mess with your head," he rallied. "Maybe me admitting that I'm spying is just a ruse to get you to underestimate my sneakiness so that you'll let your guard down, and when you least expect it...BAM!" He slammed his hands down onto the table for emphasis. "You're looking up at the sky in the Amity Colosseum thinking, 'Man, Sun is really a rather cunning fellow'." Blake let out an undignified snort as she pulled a book from its place and began leafing through it while Orville just raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Come on, it could happen..."

"You keep telling yourself that, buddy," Orville said as he mixed the meat sauce with the spaghetti in a bowl before sliding it onto the table in front of Sun before scooping some into the three paper bowls he'd set out. "Man, I wish we had some garlic bread."

Grinning, Sun rubbed his hands together and breathed in the tasty aroma. Twirling some noodles onto the plastic fork he'd been provided with, Sun took a big bite and sighed in contentment. That banana felt like it had been hours ago (and he supposed it _had_ been).

"Thanks for the grub," he said gratefully after he swallowed. "It's pretty good."

"No prob," Orville answered around his own mouthful of food. "Sorry it ain't the banana bread I promised." Blake sat down in front of her own bowl and began eating mechanically as her eyes skimmed across the pages of the book she'd taken up.

A few minutes passed in silence while the trio devoured their meal before Sun spoke again. "Hey, so don't take this the wrong way, but is that old dude in those pictures the legendary Gin Solo?"

Orville rolled his eyes. "The Old Bastard'll be thrilled to meet one of his fans," he grunted. "Yeah, that's him alright."

"He raised Orville after his parents passed," Blake added absently, turning the page with a flick of her wrist.

"Tough luck, man," Sun empathized. "I was raised by my grandpa after my mom kicked the bucket and my pop took off."

"Look at us," Orville huffed, grinning wryly. "A bunch of orphaned Faunuses; we should start a band."

"We could call ourselves The Strays," Blake muttered sarcastically, eliciting a chuckle from the boys. She scraped up the last bit of meat before standing and tossing the used bowl in the trash bin, then turned back to Orville. "I'm going to call it a night; today's been a bit...exhausting."

"Sweet dreams," Orville acknowledged with a slight nod. "I think I've got a few t-shirts and shorts in the top drawer of the dresser, if you want 'em. Toss some out for me and Sun, too while you're at it."

"Alright," Blake said. In short order, she brought out nightwear for them and bade them goodnight, but not before she offered Orville a quiet but heartfelt thanks, leaving Sun alone with the other Faunus.

Normally, Sun didn't have much trouble socializing. He liked to talk with people, learn a little about them and try to draw conclusions about them based on what they said (and didn't say). But Orville seemed like he had quite a lot on his mind, and Sun didn't really want to butt in on heavy thoughts.

Still, Sun's curiosity had definitely been piqued by the guy. Orville had been willing to help him out with almost no info whatsoever besides the fact that he'd stowed away on an ocean liner, and then let him stay in his apartment to boot. It was the least Sun could do to keep his mind occupied, but he decided to wait until he heard faint snoring from the bedroom before initiating a conversation.

"So..." Sun trailed off, catching Orville's attention. "What's up with you and Blake?"

Orville chortled as the faraway look in his eyes faded. "We're...I dunno, friends I guess? Before today, I was the only one who knew that she was a Faunus at Beacon."

"Why'd she hide it?" Sun asked, honestly bewildered. Sure, there was a lot of discrimination against Faunus, but that had never stopped him before.

Orville's brows furrowed in a vague frown. "That's for her to tell," he said, shooting Sun an apologetic look. "I promised I'd keep her secret, even if she let it slip to her team."

"I can understand that," Sun accepted with a shrug. "So you two aren't...y'know," he entangled his index and middle fingers together, "like this?"

A bark of laughter escaped Orville's lips. "Oh, God no!" he gasped, looking amused. "Though our friends might think otherwise."

"Oh?" Sun raised an intrigued eyebrow. "And why would they think that?"

Coughing to hide another chuckle, Orville replied, "Blake called Gin a bad beast when asked what she thought of him, except no one knew she was a Faunus..."

"...so they thought her using our word was a no-no," Sun surmised, grinning. "Wow, how'd she get outta that one?"

"I told 'em that I gave her permission after she called me that in bed," Orville answered. "It was the only thing I could think of at the time, and I _had_ made some allusions to the fact that she had jungle-fever a few weeks back."

"Dude, you're _evil_ ," Sun snickered, slapping his thigh gleefully. "And she couldn't deny it 'cause then she'd have to admit to her being an actual Faunus. You're my new hero."

" _Finally_ , someone who appreciates me," Orville said with a smirk.

"I'm still awake," growled Blake from the other room, causing both of them to flinch.

Orville cleared his throat. "We should probably hit the hay," he suggested, and Sun was quick to agree lest they further draw the ire of the cat-girl. The two got into the clothes Blake had provided for them and got as comfortable as they could in the pull-out sofa bed, which was a lot more difficult than Sun might have expected.

Eventually they decided on going top-to-tail, with Sun's head level with Orville's feet.

"Hey, Orville?" Sun asked before he drifted off to sleep.

"Yo."

"Thanks for helping me out today."

In the gloom pierced only by the orange glow from the streetlight outside the window, Sun saw Orville raise a fist toward him. "Us badass Faunus guys gotta stick together, right?"

Smiling, Sun pressed his knuckles against Orville's. "Yeah, that's true."

* * *

 **After-Action Report:** And thus began the start of a beautiful bromance. I think I might have told one of the reviewers that Ren's chapter would be next, but I got an idea about that so Ren won't show up until after the next chapter of _The Golden Retriever_ comes out. And he'll kinda be jealous that Sun became such good friends with Orville so quickly.

So Sun doesn't get much backstory in canon, and I thought it might be interesting for him to have a shitty history just like the rest of the characters who have been given some depth. It seems like a prerequisite for Hunters to have terrible shit happen to them, doesn't it? They take on the burdens so the rest of Remnant can breathe easy, at least that's my take on it.

Thanks for the faves, follows, and reviews; I hope you enjoyed and will continue to enjoy. Have a great day!


	7. Cardin

**Author's Note:** Before you start reading this one, I'd like to take a moment to let you know that starting Monday I'll be updating _The Golden Retriever_ on that day instead of Thursdays. For the roughly...fifty or so people who are waiting on the next chapter, please be patient. I thought I'd had a good hold on it and was about ready to upload it, but after re-reading it I realized it was kind of shitty. Well, shittier than usual, at least. So I'm in the process of writing a new one that should be up by Monday.

Anyway, here's something from Cardin, so fans of his (I mean, there's got to be at _least_ one, right?) can rejoice.

 **Disclaimer** and **Warnings** still apply from the first chapter.

* * *

That Time Cardin and Orville Became Frienemies

* * *

Cardin Winchester grunted as he was sent flying for about the eighth time in as many minutes. Timing his landing, he managed to roll backwards and halt his momentum easily enough, only to jump out of the way of the hammerhead descending on him with frightening speed. He was barely able to avoid the hunk of steel, but couldn't quite dodge the pink explosion that followed and was once more airborne.

It had been around two weeks since that fateful, very nearly disastrous afternoon in Forever Fall Forest when he'd almost gotten himself and his team all killed for some stupid prank. Team CRDL had made leaps and bounds in their training since Doyle and his friends had begun assisting them, but Cardin would be damned if he enjoyed it.

Especially when he was partnered with the crazy hammer-wielding storm known as Nora.

It made sense, he knew, to pair him up with the only other person in their group who used a blunt-force weapon. In point of fact, Cardin's mace-handling skills had improved drastically once he'd started actually paying attention to Nora's style instead of running around in a futile attempt at keeping his legs intact. He just wished Doyle didn't watch from the sidelines with such a shit-eating grin on his face while recording every shameful moment on his scroll.

As he painfully got to his feet once more, he held out a hand (the agreed-upon signal for a time-out) and bent over to catch his breath. Cardin had never felt so exhausted in his life than he did during and after these sessions. Even his father, who had been a ruthless slave-driver when it came to training, hadn't worked him this hard.

Whenever he or one of the others complained (and he'd even heard Schnee grumbling about the breakneck pace once), Doyle would just smile and ask if they wanted to hang out in the Grimmlands for a few months instead.

At first, Cardin had taken Doyle's outburst in Professor Arc's class with a ten-pound bag of salt. He'd just assumed the stupid Faunus had been bragging in order to look good in front of his partner, like the Professor had insinuated. After watching Doyle in Combat class, however, Cardin had been forced to admit that perhaps it hadn't been all bluster. And now that Doyle was actually training him, Cardin could admit that he'd been completely and utterly wrong about his first impression of the dog-eared boy.

Cardin had grown up his entire life hearing about the evils of Faunus from his father. Cardin's mom had been killed during the final hours of the Battle of the Red Chaff, where the blood of both sides had dyed the Atlesian wheat fields red. He'd taken everything his dad had said at face-value, and that had colored his perception of those with animal traits from the time he was old enough to understand such things.

Now, though, with one of those very creatures whom his father had taught him were sub-human having literally saved his life, Cardin's whole mindset had been a bog of confusion and frustration.

The frustration obviously stemmed from coming to terms with the fact that his dad was wrong, whether intentionally or because of misplaced grief-turned-fury. Cardin had looked up to Bishop Winchester as a man who could do no wrong; hell, he'd chosen the relic during initiation for the sole fact that it was his dad's name. To find that what he'd learned at his father's knee about Faunus was wrong, and in such a jarring fashion, shook him down to the core and made him second-guess all of his dad's advice.

His confusion was mostly due to the fact that he'd been nothing but hateful to Faunus in general, and Doyle in particular. Yet when Team CRDL had been on the metaphorical chopping block, the dog Faunus had acted without hesitation to save them even at the expense of whatever he'd been planning against that terrifying woman.

It simply boggled Cardin's mind that Doyle would even bother giving him the time of day, let alone stick his neck out for the team who'd given him so much grief since the semester had started. Cardin wasn't used to people being _nice_ to him; he'd always taken what he felt was due to him, having studied his father's traits and tendencies extensively to be more like his hero, and it hadn't exactly gotten him very many friends.

"Finished, Baby Bird?" Doyle asked as he walked up to stand beside Nora, patting the grenadier on the shoulder. "Good hustle out there, Blitz, take five."

"You got it, Glorious Leader!" the ginger girl saluted before skipping off to presumably find her partner.

Doyle watched her go with a fond smile on his face, and Cardin took the opportunity to examine his...coach? Savior? Cardin wasn't quite sure what their relationship was, to be honest. They weren't friends, but they weren't enemies, either, not really. Looking back on it, Cardin realized that he and his team hadn't ever really been very high on Doyle's list of priorities; they probably hadn't _ever_ been considered enemies.

Regardless, the Faunus looked like he hadn't been getting much sleep lately. Ever since the Forever Fall incident, it had been like someone lit a fire under Doyle's ass. It wasn't just his friends and CRDL he'd been driving so mercilessly; Cardin heard the other members of ORNP and RWBY muttering amongst themselves about how hard he was training as well, breaking his back trying to come up with new techniques and tactics to use against Cinder and her league of super-evil or whatever after he'd laid all his cards on the table during their meeting.

"So what's going on, then?" Doyle's voice brought him back to the present, and Cardin frowned.

"What d'ya mean?" he asked.

Doyle waved a hand toward where Nora had gone (and yep, she'd found that poor, poor fellow she called a partner). "You seemed distracted during that spar," he said. "Somethin' on your mind?"

Cardin blinked; was he really that obvious? "Yeah, I guess there is," he relented. He shuffled away quickly when a couple of stone chairs rose up from the ground.

"So dish," Doyle urged, dropping into one and gesturing to the other. "You're part of Team Orville now, we gotta get you in top shape for the Tournament, and that ain't gonna happen if you're gathering wool during a fight."

Cardin sat down, sighing in relief. Hate him or love him, Doyle sure knew how to make a quality chair. "Look," Cardin began. "I appreciate all this, so don't think I'm being ungrateful or anything, but _why_ did you help us that day in the forest?"

Doyle hummed thoughtfully before answering. "Well, I dunno if you knew this," he said, "but my parents died in the Lighthouse Massacre. I was on my own for about a year after that, and nobody would give a orphaned Faunus street kid a second glance. Except one day, somebody did."

"That Gin dude your friends were talking about," Cardin guessed. He'd heard about the Faunus who had raised Doyle from the others, and it was hard to connect the cool old guy they spoke of with the terrifying General Solo who'd haunted his nightmares after his father's cautionary bedtime stories.

"Yep," Doyle confimred. "He taught me that everyone deserves a chance to live, even if they're a bunch of assholes like you and your team." Cardin glared at him, but that only served to make the jerk laugh. "I saved your skin because I had the means and opportunity to help out. And look at what you've done with your chance."

He jerked his head toward the large clearing they had chosen to train in. Russel was practicing his high-speed spinning move on a large boulder with Ruby's assistance (Russel's Semblance wasn't quite the same as hers, but it was close enough for the younger girl to offer pointers). Dove and Blake were going toe-to-toe in the center of the glen, and Cardin's teammate was actually doing pretty well. Sky, meanwhile, was near a large tree with Pyrrha, who was showing him a few moves that utilized his polearm's longer reach with her weapon's spear configuration.

"You're all doing well," Doyle continued. "Hell, you're not even a bunch of assholes anymore, really. I haven't seen you bullying anyone in weeks."

"That's because we're always too exhausted to even think after these sessions," Cardin grumbled half-heartedly. The truth was, Cardin hadn't even felt the desire to mess with the other students after having seen that meeting in Forever Fall. It had really put things into perspective for him and forced him to rethink much of his behavior.

"Anyway," Doyle said, shaking his head in amusement. "You found the right path, Baby Bird. You just have to keep flying along and you'll be great one day."

That simple comment took Cardin by surprise. Was Doyle...actually _encouraging_ him? Him, Cardin Winchester, the bigoted bully of Beacn? It made no sense!

"Seriously, Doyle, what do you get out of this?" he demanded. "Why are you being so fucking _nice_? It's really starting to mess with my mind."

"Well, part of the reason _is_ to mess with your mind," Doyle admitted shamelessly. "But part of it's because the world's full of enough horrible shit as it is. Why add to it when it's our job as Hunters to make life a little less shitty?" Doyle stood, stretching, and started to walk over to where Russel was jumping around in celebration after crushing the boulder to rock chips. "Go get Blitz and keep it up, Baby Bird. You're doing just fine."

Cardin sat for a moment longer before getting to his feet as well. "Doyle," he called, and the Faunus turned to him curiously. "Are you...are you doing okay?"

A somewhat mystified look stole across Doyle's face. "Why Cardin Winchester, was that concern for little ol' me?"

Expression sour, Cardin growled, "You're starting to look like shit. I can't get better if my personal trainer's running himself ragged."

Doyle offered him a tired smile. "I'll be fine," he assured. "Get your nose back to the grindstone. And watch out for flying pink things." Cardin only had a moment to ponder Doyle's words before a whistling sound alerted him to a brace of missiles hurtling toward him at high speeds.

Nora's yell of, "SNEAK ATTACK!" may have tipped him off as well.

* * *

 **After-Action Report:** So that was a thing that happened. There was originally going to be more humor, but I decided to change that particular scenario into a chapter unto its own which will show up in about a week or so.

So Cardin's officially begun his Heel-Face Turn at this point. He'll still be sort of an asshole, but it'll be more Jerk With a Heart of Gold rather than just pure Jerkass. It'll take a while, but Baby Bird'll get there eventually. I've already decided that Russel's Semblance (that Sonic dash thing he uses against Pyrrha in _Extracurricular_ ) will deal with enhanced speed, and Dove's Semblance is mostly figured out. I still need to figure out Cardin's and Sky's, so if anyone's got ideas, I'd be happy to hear them.

Review if you want, favorite if you'd like, follow if you must, and have a great day!


	8. Yang

**Author's Note:** I had thought briefly about writing an Easter-themed chapter before I realized that with the cultural differences Remnant would more than likely not have a similar holiday and gave it up as a lost cause.

So instead here's the fight at the docks from Yang's PoV since she doesn't have a Golden Tail yet.

Also, for those who celebrate it, Happy late Easter! And for those who don't, happy Monday!

* * *

That Time Yang Beat the Shit Out of The White Fang

* * *

Yang watched Orville walk out in the figurative nest of vipers with a scowl. She'd trust his judgement concerning Roman Torchwick for now, but if that bastard made a single threatening move toward Orville she'd punch the criminal so hard his ancestors would feel it. Her frown deepened as she wondered exactly when she'd decided that the dog Faunus was important enough to her to warrant bashing in the skull of whoever harmed him.

At first, Yang had only really hung around him to see what kind of person he was (couldn't have Ruby falling in with the wrong crowd, after all). He'd seemed funny enough, and he could trade barbs with her without acting like a gibbering idiot, which was always a plus in her books. And while his filthy mouth and dismissive attitude toward authority threw up a few warning flags, it wasn't like Yang herself didn't occasionally curse, and everyone had their demons to deal with.

That first weekend out had probably been where their companionship had really cemented, though, when she'd begun to see him as her friend instead of just Ruby's. The Club's owner had been more than a little reluctant to allow her back in, but Orville had breezed by her, had a few words with Junior, and that had been that. The night's festivities hadn't been all that special (a couple drinks, a bit of dancing despite Orville's protests, and even a quick bar fight in some dive once Junior had kicked them out for being to boisterous on the dance floor), but Yang had actually had fun.

Orville was someone she knew that she could have a good time with in whatever situation they found themselves in, be it bar-hopping, parts-shopping for Bumblebee, or even just hanging out at Beacon with the others. It might have been his easy-going nature that allowed him to roll with her constant teasing, or how he always had to bite his cheek to stop from laughing at her clever puns (even that somewhat tactless one concerning Velvet's broken leg), but Yang was exceptionally glad now that Ruby had taken pity on the stupid idiot who'd blown chunks out the airbus' window on the way to Beacon that day.

The thing that truly made her realize how much she valued his friendship, though, was the week or so when Ruby had virtually cut ties with him after learning about his past career as a smuggler. She had told Orville that Ruby had been miserable, which was true enough (the poor girl hadn't even been able to enjoy her cookies properly). But Yang had felt just as bad without their lovable scamp of a friend around to shoot the shit with and tease Weiss, or heckle Blake for reading a school book during the lunch hour. It had been like looking at a jigsaw puzzle that was just about done, except all the corner and side pieces were missing; the big picture was clear, but there was something tangible gone.

And now...

Yang clenched her fists as she observed Orville talking with Torchwick. She loved her sister dearly, but Ruby's schemes could use some work if the first thing that came to mind when busting a Dust heist was to send someone in alone.

She kept a sharp eye on the pair as they conversed, with Orville making some vicious-looking gestures (she swore it looked like he was strangling thin air at one point) before he clapped his fist onto an open palm, the signal that Roman was onboard. Yang waited until Blake and Weiss set off the Dust charges they'd planted, and then rushed out.

The first White Fang guard didn't even notice her; she was too busy gawking at the fireball that had once been a shipping container to spot the flying yellow gauntlet careening toward her back. Ember Celica discharged a slug between the unsuspecting Faunus' shoulder blades and sent her flying into several more of the idiots.

Yang couldn't help but grin and shout, "STRIKE!" as they went down like bowling pins.

Crescent Rose's sharp report made her turn just in time to watch the duracrete in front of another Faunus explode into shrapnel, forcing him to halt his attempted sneak attack on her. With a savage smirk, Yang shot forward, aided by Ember Celica's recoil, and landed two clean kicks on the bastard: one in the gut and the other across the face. He dropped like a sack of potatoes, and she huffed in annoyance. These losers were even less fun to beat up on than Junior's goon squad.

As she thinned out the herd, she caught glimpses of Blake, Weiss, and the new guy (Sonny? She hadn't exactly been paying attention) kicking asses and taking names. She always sort of admired how elegant Weiss' style was, with her sweeping gestures and sharp, sudden lunges. Blake's combat was also a sight to behold, a thing of grace and finesse that put a lot of full-fledged Huntresses she'd seen in action to shame. Not that she didn't think her own fighting methods were lame; quite the opposite really, and who could blame her? With shotguns on her arms it was kind of hard to think otherwise, really.

Of course, that was when Orville came in hot for a crash-landing with his crossed blades smoking like they'd taken a direct hit from an anti-tank gun. He managed to turn his fall into a tightly-controlled roll and ended up skidding across the docks on his feet. Another thing she liked about Orville was that he could take a hell of a beating and just keep coming back for more. He was a-durable that way.

She fought off the instinctive giggle at just how devilishly ingenious she was and decided it was time to play her part. Clapping her gauntleted hands to her cheeks, she gasped loudly. "Orville?" she exclaimed loudly, injecting as much shock as she could. "Is that you?"

As Roman stalked toward them from the direction Orville had just come flying, he sneered, "Looks like we've got some company, little puppy. Why don't you introduce us?"

"Bite me!" snarled Orville as he used a shell from his pale shotsword to not only boost himself up and forward, but he also managed to blast back one of the White Fang guys who'd attempted to take advantage of Weiss' lack of spatial awareness.

Unwilling to allow that admittedly impressive no-look shot go unanswered, Yang snapped off a mule-kick behind her into the gut of the one trying to attack her six o'clock while keeping an eye on Orville's fight. He might have signaled that Torchwick was on their team (even if the thief wasn't aware that she and the rest of the Beacon students were even on a team), but Yang wouldn't put it past Torchwick to pull some underhanded trick.

As she wailed on any dumbass stupid enough to get within ten feet of her, Yang had to give credit where it was due. If she hadn't known they weren't seriously fighting she would have sworn Orville and Torchwick were honestly trying to kill each other. It was probably the act they were putting on for the White Fang who weren't unconscious by that point already, but it was still a sight to behold.

By that point the tide of battle had swept away from her, and Yang allowed herself to fall out of her stance. That weird Penny girl was hauling down a Bullhead that had tried to take off wit a bunch of swords on what had to be the strongest strings ever made, but the other two were revving up their fliers in preparation for a getaway.

A loud blast from Orville's direction made her turn worriedly, only to put a hand to her mouth to stifle the laughter at seeing a smoking hole where Torchwick's ass was supposed to be. Too bad the criminal's bright orange Aura had shielded the worst of the damage. As she looked on, her friend picked him up and threw him bodily toward one of the other Bullheads.

Yang pursed her lips, but couldn't exactly do anything, especially since Torchwick's escape was an important part of their plans. She turned and, after catching Penny's attention, gestured to the Bullhead that Torchwick wouldn't be getting on. The ginger nodded her acknowledgement before spinning up what looked like a bonafide green Hadouken with her swords before shooting the indicated airship down as well.

When the dust began to settle from the blasts, she was able to just make out the final Bullhead fly off into the evening sky. Disregarding that as unimportant, Yang's eyes began to dart toward each of her friends and allies to make sure no one was out of commission. Blake was fine, if a little put out at having to beat the shit out of her former comrades, and was assisting Weiss and Penny begin the process of securing the fallen White Fang members. Ruby had zipped down from her sniper's perch at some point and was pulling people out of the wreckage of the downed Bullheads, aided by Sonny or whatever his name was.

It brought a satisfied smile to Yang's face; even enemies were unable to escape Ruby's genuine desire to help people. She'd have liked to think that she'd had a hand in that, but the truth was Ruby's moral compass had developed almost independently. Yang's own code of ethics was a little skewed, and she knew it, but that had never even fazed Ruby despite their difference of opinions, which only made Yang even prouder.

"How's everyone?" Yang turned her head slightly to catch Orville in her line of sight as he came trotting over, an anxious look knitting his brow.

"Nobody on our side was hurt at all," she reassured. "Some of those White Fang guys weren't so lucky, but Weiss had already called for paramedics before we set off the bombs so it should work itself out."

Grimacing as he took in the bloody aftermath of the Bullhead explosions, he used his Semblance to cut a portion of the multicolored Dust crystal from his belt and began to divide it up into thin swathes. "I'll make sure it does," he muttered as he gave her and the others some. "Slap one of those on the big wounds and they should start to heal. Don't bother with the non-lethal injuries."

"Well aren't you just a Selfless Selena today?" Yang teased as she followed him to check up on some of the Faunus who'd been pulled out of the Bullheads already.

His lips pulled into a wry grin. "More fore Ruby and Penny than these poor saps," he admitted, peering down at a deep arm wound before setting the Dust band on it gently. The gash glowed brightly as the blood flow began to slow down. "Can't do if they've got dead mooks on their conscious, y'know?"

Yang nodded absently as she digested the reasoning. That was another thing about Orville; he honestly seemed to care more about the well-being of his friends than his own. It wasn't as pronounced as Ruby's unbiased wish to help everyone she could, but it was still there.

Rolling her shoulders, Yang turned away from her buddy and began to check on the rest of the White Fang for injuries. She figured that she might as well find that first Faunus she'd snuck up on and make sure there wasn't a big hole in her back.

* * *

 **After-Action Report:** Not much to say here. Yang's a little tough to get a good read on her internal monologue, but I think I pulled it off fairly well. If you disagree, of course you're welcome to tell me about it.

Reviews are welcome, favorites and follows appreciated, and I hope you all have a great day!


	9. Ren

**Author's Note:** And here is the promised Ren chapter, roughly three months after I first mentioned it to a reviewer. Better late than never, right?

By the by, this is set a day or so before the gang sets off for the Grimmlands in Chapter 9 of _Golden Retriever._ Just so you have an idea of when this is in the timeline.

 **Disclaimer** and **Warnings** still apply from the first chapter

* * *

That Time Ren Got Insecure

* * *

Lie Ren sat cross-legged under the shade of one of the trees that ringed the clearing The Group (as he'd begun calling it in his mind) had taken to using as a practice field. He'd learned quickly that if he pretended he was meditating in order to improve his Aura control that Orville was less likely to sic Nora on him (which was a marvel in and of itself; the only other person he'd _ever_ seen actually able to reliably give Nora orders was her father). He allowed the sounds of mock battle wash over him as he peeked out at the scene through his eyelashes, feeling a sense of peace as he did so.

Yang and Pyrrha were dominating the majority of the field as they knocked each other back and forth across the glade, finesse and precision against unpredictability and sheer force. Ruby was being coached through a basic set of boxing combinations by Russel close to where Ren was resting, though the speedsters were arguing about the merits of baked goods more than making any actual progress. Nora, Blake, Cardin, and Dove were all listening to an impromptu (and frankly unasked for) lesson in the proper handling of Dust from Weiss while Penny helpfully provided a holographic PowerPoint as a visual aid.

A crease formed between Ren's brows as he took mental count and came up short by two. Where was Orville and the new guy, Sun?

Opening his eyes more fully, Ren began to scan his surroundings, leaning a bit to the left as a stray shell casing flew past him as it was ejected from Yang's gauntlet. He could have sworn the two Faunus males had been sitting with the Dust lecture group a few minutes ago when he'd last checked around him so he started there.

A rustle of movement in the trees above Weiss caught Ren's attention, and after a more careful look he spotted a golden-furred tail twitching back and forth. He rose to his feet and cocked his head to the side to get a better look at Sun, who was fiddling with something in his hands. A few seconds later, a slight buzzing noise and a distressingly familiar musical piece began wafting on the breeze.

Before he could properly react (which in this case would have been to dive for cover), a swarm of miniature drones laden with baskets full of multicolored pellets zoomed overhead to the tune of _Ride of the Valkyries_ and began bombing those assembled. Everywhere the pellets fell, a loud, colorful explosion of smoke soon followed and unfortunately for The Group there were quite a few of them.

Ren watched, open-mouthed as Weiss went from having a pristine white ensemble to looking like Nora had gotten into her wardrobe with a bucket of tie-dye. The others fared just as badly, with Cardin's gunmetal grey armor quickly turning aquamarine under the barrage and (much more worryingly) Yang's mane of gold rusting to a red that matched Ruby's battle skirt's ruffles.

Within moments of the attack's start, the Hunters-in-training all let loose and blasted the drones out of the sky before more havoc could be instigated. Thankfully, Ren had been able to avoid the worst of the bombardment (only getting grazed by a pink pellet on his elbow), but the others didn't seem to be as luck.

Sun curled his tail up in a futile effort at remaining unseen, but Blake had already noticed and yanked him down by the prehensile appendage forcefully.

Yang, whose eyes had lit up to match her new hair color, stomped over to the Faunus with murder written on her face. "What the HELL was that for?" she snarled in a manner that was more reminiscent of a ferocious Grimm than a teenage girl.

"It's Trickster Week," Sun yelped as he scuttled away from the terrifying vision before him. When he was met with bemused glares, he continued. "You know, the day that everyone pranks everyone else? Um...don't you guys have that here in Vale?"

"There's a whole week devoted to pranking people and nobody _told_ me?" Nora asked, looking put out. She turned to Ren, who felt a shiver of cold fear run down his spine.

"I was unaware something like that even existed," he replied truthfully. Honestly, he didn't understand many of the special celebrations even in Vale. Most of the holidays observed in the little village he and Nora had grown up in were for sensible things like Yuletide and the first day of Spring. He couldn't comprehend the necessity of Trickster Day, unless it was to stave off a city-wide foul mood that might bring about a Grimm incursion...come to think of it, that might have been how the holiday came about in the first place.

"That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to pull this... _prank_ now," Weiss snapped, fists on her hips as she loomed menacingly over Sun.

"I-it was Orville's idea!" Sun whimpered, cringing away from the heiress as he threw up his hands defensively.

"Snitches get stitches, Broku!" came the faint response from somewhere across the glen.

"Orville Doyle, you show yourself!" Weiss demanded, her ire shifting from one Faunus to the other. She pointed Myrtenaster toward the place from where Orville's voice had issued forth. "I'll give you until the count of three before I start practicing some of the new techniques we came up with. One...two...th—"

"Alright, alright!" grumbled Ren's leader as he dropped down from one of the trees sullenly. "It really shows that you're Atlesian, Edelweiss, what with that stick up your..."

"Finish that sentence and I'll shove something up yours," Weiss threatened, waving her rapier for emphasis.

"Kinky," Orville drawled, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, then yelped as he scrambled away from the wave of ice that washed over his former position. "Can't you take a joke?"

"Not when it's as unamusing as this," Weiss retorted. "Do you _know_ how much this dress cost?"

"An absurd amount of lien, I'm guessing," Orville chuckled. "Relax, would you? It'll wash of without a trace, and that's a Doyle guarantee. It wouldn't be funny if it was cruel, would it?"

Yang, who had pulled her hair over her shoulder, examined the new red color speculatively. "So long as this doesn't damage my precious, I can sort of see the appeal," she admitted. She struck a provocative pose and winked at Orville. "How do I look as a redhead?"

Before Orville could answer, Weiss huffed in annoyance. "This doesn't excuse the fact that you perpetrated a malicious attack on us for no reason other than to satisfy your own sick sense of humor!"

"If I wanted it to be malicious I'd have mixed in itching powder and made the color permanent," Orville argued, and Ren supposed he had a point. There were much worse things his leader was capable of, including giving poor Carmin Falcone a week-long Hot Snake simply for something she'd said to Pyrrha during Combat class.

Weiss seemed to come to the same conclusion, but didn't want to give Orville the satisfaction. Instead, she let out a strangled snarl and began to stomp back toward Beacon, snatching Ruby's arm and dragging the younger girl along with her. "Come on, we need to figure out whether or not Doyle is telling the truth about this stuff."

"I thought it was funny, Orville," Ruby called out helpfully as she allowed her partner to steer her away.

The others quickly decided to do the same, leaving Ren, Orville, and Sun alone in the clearing.

"Man, that chick is such a stick in the mud," Sun said, shaking his head.

"She's alright," Orville defended, which confused Ren. Weiss was usually nothing but belligerent toward the dog Faunus, which irked Ren to no end. Sure, Orville could be as much of a handful as Nora sometimes, but was generally a good guy...for the most part. "Just that Atlesian upbringing showing. Not everyone can be as laid back as us, right, Peej?"

Ren didn't exactly consider himself 'laid-back', but nodded nonetheless. He supposed his imperturbable attitude, accrued through years of association with Nora, could be considered the same thing. "As long as nothing is permanently discolored, I don't see what the problem is," he reasoned.

"So, since training's pretty much done for the day, what's say you and I go watch the new _Captain Vytal_ movie that came out today?" Orville suggested. "I know you've been looking forward to it."

Though he didn't advertise it, Ren was a bit of a comic book buff, and the recent 'Golden Age' of comic book cinema had only cemented his love of the characters. The newest film, which was based on one of his favorite runs, had been something he had indeed been anticipating since its announcement two years prior.

"That sounds like fun," Ren said, offering his leader a smile. "Should we check when the next showing is?"

Orville gave him a sly grin, waving his scroll jauntily. "Why do you think I waited 'til now to spring the prank? The shuttle leaves in ten minutes, the movie starts in thirty. That gives us plenty of time to load up on snacks and get some good seats. I already got the tickets."

Ren raised an eyebrow in mild disbelief. Orville had planned this? He really needed to stop being surprised by his only male friend's thoughtfulness. Granted, Nora had really been his sole companion for several years and while he loved her to death, the excitable ginger couldn't exactly be called the most sensitive person in the world when it came to others' needs.

"I suppose we should get going then," Ren shrugged, turning to head toward the docks.

"Hey, can I come too?" Sun asked. "I love Captain Vytal!"

Orville cast a glance toward Ren, who hesitated as he considered it. He wasn't _jealous_ , per se, but after having spent so long with Nora he was somewhat reluctant to share what little time he and Orville spent together. The dog Faunus' attention was split so many different ways between his duties as leader, their other friends, Pyrrha and Yang's developing rivalry, and trying to get them all in shape for whatever that woman Cinder had in store for Vale that their one-on-one 'bro time' (Orville's words, not his) was a precious commodity which Ren was loathe to give up.

Sun, as the newest guy to join their group, had caused Ren a bit of trepidation. The monkey Faunus and Orville had meshed so well so quickly that Ren was a little worried that the blonde might replace him as Orville's best male friend. Obviously, Ren already had Nora, but it was nice hanging out with someone who only had one X chromosome.

Then in waltzes this happy-go-lucky fellow who shouldn't even be in Vale for another month or so and befriends Orville without so much as a by-your-leave. Ren knew that he wasn't the most social person, but it frustrated him to no end that Sun had simply squeezed himself into the fold like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Orville must have seen a bit of the conflict on his face because he turned to Sun and said, "Give us a minute, yeah?" Sun shrugged with an easy smile and nodded, heading off toward the school. "What's up, PJ?"

"Nothing," Ren answered, perhaps a little too quickly. Orville gave him a dubious look, and Ren relented. "I just...look, I know I'm not as great a conversationalist as Sun is, but—"

Orville cut him off with a snicker. "Are you _jealous_?"

" _No_ ," Ren denied vehemently, averting his eyes from Orville's skeptical gaze. "Maybe..."

Still smiling, Orville clapped a hand on his shoulder, commanding Ren's attention. "Ren, you're like, the first bro I've ever had. Roman doesn't count since he's almost a decade older than me, and Gin sure as _hell_ doesn't count 'cause he basically raised me." He shook his head slightly. "The girls are great and everything, but sometimes a guy's just gotta be with his buddy, and _you're_ my best buddy. Just because Sun might be a little more outgoing than you doesn't mean I'm just gonna toss you to the side."

Ren knew that; honestly, he did. Orville wasn't the type of person to discard someone like that, but to hear it spoken aloud was certainly reassuring. "I'm acting stupid," he finally said, running a hand listlessly through his hair.

"Nah," Orville denied, smirking. "If you suddenly started kicking it with Tiny and Bright-Eyes I think I'd get a little jealous myself." He squinted at Ren suspiciously. "You're _not_ hanging with the CFVY guys, are you?"

"Er...no," Ren replied flatly. Yatsuhashi and Fox were virtual unknowns to Ren. Hell, they had really only interacted the one time Coco had brought her team around to their table to thank Orville that one time. He was sure they were fine people, but he had enough trouble keeping track of The Group as it was without adding more members.

"Good," said Orville, sounding oddly relieved. "So, is it a yea or a nay for Sun?"

Ren cracked a grin. "I can't very well deny him the awesomeness that is _Captain Vytal: Buddy Fight_ , now can I?"

* * *

 **After-Action Report:** Can you guys tell I'm excited about _Captain America: Civil War_? Because I totally am. I'm actually gonna see it later on tonight with a couple friends of mine, which was how this chapter came about.

I've always thought that Ren isn't a very emotive person because he's always had to check himself due to Nora's exuberance, and he probably never had too many friends for the same reason. I mean, I'd personally love to have someone like Nora as a pal, but I can see how it could be off-putting for others. Therefore, Ren has never really been able to just hang out and shoot the breeze with the guys because there have been no guys.

Ren will eventually warm up to Sun, but for now it'll be slow-going. I'm not sure whether or not I want to add CFVY to The Group, mostly because Yats and Fox are basically non-entities in the show. Hell, even Taiyang got more characterization than those two.

Also, I dropped some Orville nicknames that I haven't used in _Golden Retriever_ yet so:

Broku = Sun  
Tiny = Yatsuhashi  
Bright-Eyes = Fox

Just so you know.

Anyway, review, favorite, follow, etc. Thanks to those who've already done so, I appreciate you all. See you next time, and have a great day!


	10. Blake II

**Author's Note:** Sorry, everyone. I know it's been a while since I updated this and _The Golden Retriever_ , but I had a few new ideas that were clamoring for attention. _TGR_ 's new chapter is almost done, just need a few more scenes to add to that and edit, but for now here's something to tide you over.

This is set right after the group gets back from the Grimmlands, but before the beginning of Volume 2, in case you want a chronological marker on this.

 **Disclaimer** and **Warnings** still apply from the first chapter.

* * *

That Time Blake Went Into Heat

* * *

Blake woke up feeling like shit. It wasn't anything new; she'd gone through a week or so of this once a year since she'd reached puberty. Even still, her Heat was always a thoroughly miserable affair. Doubly so now that she didn't have her usual companions to help her.

A lot of negativity could be connected to the White Fang, but at least there were protocols in place for the female members during That Time of the Year. The older Faunus women would come together and guide their juniors through the cacophony of hormones and sensations with remedies passed down through generations to aid them, and all the males were barred from the recovery wards for everyone's sake.

She tried to get up, but was unable to muscle through the damnable cramping in her lower abdomen and winced at the tiny noise of distress that escaped her lips.

"Blake?" Ruby's voice called sleepily from her bunk.

 _Crap_ , the cat Faunus cursed silently. _Now they're going to want to help_.

Padded footfalls made their way over to her. "Are you alright, Blake?" Ruby asked. Blake opened a bleary eye to find her leader crouched down next to her, still in her pajamas.

"M'fine," Blake mumbled, trying once more to rise. She got halfway up this time before the pain forced her back down. "Just...must've eaten something bad."

"It's all that tuna," Weiss sniffed from the vanity where she was already brushing out her hair. "I bet you've got ptomaine poisoning."

Ruby gently laid her hand on Blake's forehead to check her temperature. The touch felt so good, and Blake unconsciously leaned into Ruby's hand.

"Uh, Blake?" Ruby's voice was a little amused, but mostly concerned. Blake realized she'd been butting into Ruby's hand like a stupid cat searching for affection and reeled back, inadvertently setting off her cramping once more.

She hissed in pain and recoiled from Ruby's outstretched palm.

"Yang, what do we do?" the younger girl asked, worry coloring her tone.

"Weiss, go get some whole milk," Yang said, dropping to the ground and peering at her partner with a slight frown. "Blake, what's your favorite video game?"

" _W_ _hat_?"

Weiss palmed her face and began to head to the door. "I'm going to the infirmary to get some _actual_ help," she said, grumbling something about a motivational poster under her breath.

" _No_!" Blake rasped, eyes opening wide. If the medics came in, they'd figure out she was a Faunus within seconds, and then there would be an investigation into why she'd falsified her documents, which would lead to them discovering her past as a terrorist. And that would mean the end of her plans.

So she did the only thing she could think of in her addled state. "Get Orville."

There was a moment's silence, broached by Yang tentatively asking, "Uh, don't you kinda hate Orville?"

Blake took offense to that; she didn't _hate_ the dog Faunus, exactly...anymore. Sure, they weren't as close as they could have been under other circumstances, but she definitely considered him a friend and liked to think he felt the same about her. Hopefully he could figure out a way to help discreetly. "He's resourceful," she said in lieu of an answer. "If there's one thing I can admire about him it's that." _Not to mention that ass...NO! Bad thought!_

While she wrestled her hormones into submission, her team seemed to come to an agreement. Ruby left the room, returning a few moments later with a sleepy-looking Orville. As soon as he'd entered, however, his nose twitched and his eyes shot open like he'd been injected with pure espresso. With a look of sheer, unadulterated panic he bolted back out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

"Orville, what the heck?" Ruby yelped, yanking the door open again.

"I need to get something first," the other leader's voice called faintly. When he returned, he was wearing some sort of pink cloth covering over his mouth and nose. His eyes were still round as saucers, though, and they settled quickly on Blake. Feeling the need to acknowledge him, she waved meekly while trying to ignore the masculine scent slowly spreading through the dorm.

"Are those...are those _underwear_?" Yang asked in disbelief as she gestured to his facial garment.

"Yep," he answered bluntly, pulling out three scraps of paper. "Now, I need you each to gather the items on these lists and bring 'em back real quick-like, understand?" He handed them a piece and began shoving them out of the room. "No questions, just go."

Weiss seemed like she was about to protest (loudly), but Ruby and Yang thankfully grabbed her by the arms and frog-marched her away, leaving Blake alone in a room with a potential mate...

Blake shook her head violently to stave off such thoughts and set off her cramps once again.

"So," Orville said awkwardly. He was waiting in the corner, close to the door. _Probably for a quick getaway_ , she thought sourly. "That Time of the Year, huh?"

"Yeah," she grunted. "Nice thinking with the face-mask."

He scowled at her behind the underwear, or at least that's what it looked like to her. "Be thankful, I almost didn't come back."

Blake sighed, nodding as she accepted that. "I _am_ grateful," she muttered. "This is the first time I've entered a Heat without another Faunus woman to help me. I thought I had a few more days to prepare."

"Shoulda prepped before you even came here," said Orville. "You knew it was coming, right? My mom used to be able to tell, like, a week before it happened usually."

"I think it's the different environment," Blake theorized. "Or something in the food, or a hundred other things. The point is, I'm Heated and now I need your help."

"Don't worry, I've got your back," Orville assured her. "You should just count yourself lucky that we still have a few days 'til school starts back up."

Blake nodded in agreement, adding, "Or that this didn't happen in the Grimmlands." Both shuddered at the thought of the bullet they'd dodged there.

They lapsed into a silence that pressed uncomfortably upon Blake's ears. She considered bringing up the subject of books, but the only ones she knew for certain they shared a love for were the _Melody of Snow and Ash_ series, and they'd gone over those many times in the Grimmlands already. The books he'd had on display at his apartment were all foreign to her, and she doubted he read any of the romance novels she was partial to.

"This is worse than when Guren and Granny Mei were trapped in the Damp Cavern with Karakuri," she lamented to herself, forgetting for just a moment that she wasn't alone.

"You read _Ninjas_?" Blake's eyes snapped to Orville, who was shaking his head. "Never mind; of _course_ you read _Ninjas_. Why am I even surprised?"

"Wait... _you_ know about the _Ninjas_ series?" Blake asked in a shrill voice, feeling her eyebrows disappear into her bangs before her eyes narrowed. "This isn't some sort of trick, is it?" she demanded suspiciously. "I swear, if Yang put you up to this..."

"No, I swear," Orville vowed, holding up his hand. "Smuggler's honor."

Blake still wasn't convinced, so she decided to test him. "What do you think of Shinobi's defection from Mokugakure?"

"He's a fucking moron, obviously," Orville scoffed, slumping against the wall as he waved his hand vaguely. "His true love is _in_ the damn village and yet he still wants to go out and act like a power-hungry dickhead. I mean, granted that curse mark is playing havoc with his already questionable sanity, not to mention what we later learn about that wacky family of his, but still..." He muttered darkly to himself while Blake tried to hide her shock at finding someone she could actually talk to about her favorite books.

Then a thought occurred to her. "Hold on," she back-tracked. "Who do you think his true love is?"

"Uh, Surimi, _obviously_ ," he replied as if it were plain as daylight. Which, of course, it _wasn't_.

"Surimi," she repeated flatly, and he bobbed his head cheerfully. "As in Surimi the main character."

"Technically he's the deuteragonist," Orville corrected self-importantly. "Alongside his love interest, Shinobi. I mean, they even shared their first kiss together."

"That was an _accident_!" Blake snapped, hissing in pain as her cramps acted up again. "And Shinobi _hates_ Surimi besides that."

"Are you reading the same thing I am?" he gave her a skeptical look. "Shinobi even says outright that Surimi's his _best_ friend. And it's not hate, it's belligerent sexual tension."

"And what about Guren, hm?" Blake pointed out obstinately. "Or Kana?"

"Yeah, the useless fan-girl and the masochistic stalker," snorted Orville in mock-acceptance. "Because that's _definitely_ a basis for a proper love interest. That's like saying that I should go up to friggin' _Cinder_ and ask for her hand in marriage."

Blake sat up furiously (outright ignoring the cramps) as she pulled the stack of _Ninjas of Love_ volumes out from under her mattress. There was _no_ way that she was going to allow someone to badmouth her OT3.

* * *

Blake almost missed the door opening as she searched out the passage she'd based her argument on. "Look, it's right here, you philistine!" she said triumphantly, pointing it out to Orville, who had by then migrated to her bed.

"Circumstantial at best," Orville shot back dismissively as his eyes skimmed the page. "That could just be a hold-over from over-extending himself in the fight against Hebihime."

"What are we interrupting here?" Ruby asked cautiously. Blake looked up to see her teammates walking into the room laden with bags of the items Orville had requested. All of them had varying degrees of confusion on their faces at the scene they'd walked in on. Out of context, Blake supposed she could see what they were so surprised about.

"I'm trying to show this idiot that she's been reading _Ninjas of Love_ completely wrong," Orville explained as he stood up and grabbed the bags from them before heading to one of the desks and pulling everything out.

"You mean Blakey's smut?" Yang wondered, a half-smirk pulling at her lips.

"It's called _erotica_ ," Orville replied loftily as he began to drop different herbs into a mortar bowl, "and it's art."

The other three members of RWBY traded bewildered glances before crowding around Orville while he worked.

"So, ignoring _that_ , are you going to tell us why it was necessary to bring all of this?" Weiss spoke up after a moment of watching as Orville ground up the ingredients with the pestle which came with the mortar.

"Blake didn't tell you?" Orville shot Blake a curious look, but she just pursed her lips. "She's in Heat," he explained, scraping the resultant paste into a paper cup and pouring mineral water over it. He peeled a lemon with impressive swiftness and, after squeezing some juice into the concoction, turned and gave it to Blake. "Drink up."

While Blake sniffed the mixture, the others shared another look. "Wait," Ruby held up a hand as if this were one of Oobleck's classes. "Faunus go into Heat? What happened to the whole 'Faunus aren't animals' thing?"

"In this case, that rule doesn't apply," Blake sighed, tossing back the drink quickly. To her pleasant surprise, it didn't taste half as horrible as some of the stuff her White Fang sisters had given to her. "I get like this once a year for close to a week, and this is the first time I've not been around other Faunus women to help me through it."

"So you had us bring you a hunk of man-meat to satiate your animalistic needs?" Yang raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "You're not entering the bone zone in here before I do, Blakey." Blake heard the unspoken, 'especially not with Orville' behind her partner's words and fought back a grimace. Like she would even _consider_ doing that with someone who thought Surimi and Shinobi were meant to be together...

" _Nobody_ is entering 'the bone zone' in this room if I have anything to say about it," Weiss warned ominously.

Orville, who had been scribbling on a piece of paper, straightened up and handed it to Weiss. "These are a few of the recipes my mom used," he said, tapping the sheet. "That's the one I just made, and it's the easiest one to mix up, but this one is the most potent and should knock her on her ass for a few hours."

"And why would we want to use that?" Weiss wondered, raising a delicate eyebrow.

"Trust me, you'll know," Orville shivered at some remembered terror. He reached back and pulled several smooth flat pebbles of Sunstone from his belt and held them out to Blake. "Those are for if your cramps get too bad despite the remedies. Don't put too much Aura into them or the heat'll be too uncomfortable." He frowned, then nodded. "That's it, I think. Good luck!"

That done, he gave them a jaunty wave and started toward the door, but Yang called out to him. "Hold on, I have a question." When he cocked his head to the side curiously, she let out a slightly confused chuckle and asked, "What's with the underwear?"

"The smell masks the scent Blake is giving off," he shrugged. "My nose is sensitive, and Heat pheromones are no joke."

The others made noises of understanding, but Yang grinned. "I didn't take you for a briefs kinda guy, Rock Hound."

"Oh, I don't wear undershorts," Orville huffed in amusement. "What about me makes you think I'd be anything but a free-baller?"

"True enough," Yang conceded. "Wait, so who's panties are those then, Nora's?" She frowned. "Can't be P-Money, she seems like a plain white cotton sorta girl to me..."

"They're PJ's, actually," Orville admitted, looking faintly embarrassed. "It was the first thing in the laundry hamper, okay?"

Already feeling much better thanks to the medicinal drink, Blake snorted in amusement as Yang and Ruby giggled at the revelation.

"So...give me a chime if you need anything else, I guess," Orville finished lamely.

"This is probably for the best, you know?" Weiss mused before he could leave. "I mean, it's better that you have some contingency plans for when Ginni starts hers." Blake had never seen a person's face lose its color so quickly.

"Oh, _fuck_!" he cursed, turning around and heading out the door with his scroll already out and dialing. "Gin's gonna _kill_ me!"

Blake watched him go with a bit more fascination than was strictly needed, and unfortunately Yang noticed.

" _So_..." the blonde drawled, plopping herself down on the edge of Blake's mattress. She gave Blake a flat, unimpressed stare. "Only one thing you can admire about him, huh?"

* * *

 **After-Action Report:** Yes, yes, I know. The by-now cliched trope of a Faunus going into heat. I think I was drunk when I wrote the first part of this, but I can't remember (which makes that a lot more likely), so I suppose this time you can blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol.

When I was watching the new _RWBY Chibi_ yesterday I couldn't help but laugh at the 'Sick Weiss' skit, even if I was disappointed that they didn't have "Yang in there, Kitty" on the poster. So there's a little shout-out to that early on in the chapter. God, Taiyang, what the hell kind of parent are you man?

Concerning the _Ninjas of Love_ thing: The route I went here is basically what would happen if _Naruto_ was a series of light novels instead of a manga/anime and written by Jiraiya. So here's a list of Bland Name Product equivalents if you didn't understand them.

Guren= Sakura  
Granny Mei= Granny Chiyo  
Karakuri= Sasori  
Shinobi= Sasuke  
Surimi= Naruto  
Mokugakure no Sato= Konohagakure no Sato  
Kana= Karin  
Hebihime= Orochimaru (because we all know that Jiraiya would _definitely_ go there)

So yeah, that's basically it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed this little side-tail comendium. I'll try to get the new _Golden Retreiver_ out by probably next week (though don't hold me to it), and I hope everyone has a great day!


End file.
